awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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