if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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