whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
