Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
