Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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