I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
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I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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