Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
