ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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