I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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