In the future we'll all be gay
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
