Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize