I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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