This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
