At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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