I wannas sexs uuuuu
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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