I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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