C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
