Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
