smell my finger.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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