Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
