And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
