All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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