I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
