So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
