I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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