thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
