you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
