im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize