I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
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On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
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My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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