He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
