Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
