so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize