Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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