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Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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