He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
