she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize