Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize