it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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