Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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