Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
