Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
