I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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