I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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