So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
