Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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