How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
