she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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