She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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