You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
