4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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