Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
