I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Vodka?
Forever.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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