I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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