$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
