planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
