But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's rum buckets o'clock
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize